Why Is Chief Miles O'Brien Chubby?
Apparently Star Trek's 24 Century Tech Can't Cure Baldness Or Chubby Engineers
Chubby is as chubby does.
Thanks a lump, plump philosophic Forrest Gump. Let’s face fat facts my deliciously decadent Trekkers. We’re going to discuss a telling tale of the crushing scale. It’s simply a weighty matter for us to consider when it comes to a certain Deep Space Nine bloke’s physicality - one Chief Miles O’Brien.
OK. Here goes nothing, or maybe everything…
Chief O’Brien is chubby.
There I said it. Finally! Whew, feels good to get it out!
Now I dearly hope a phaser isn’t being set to kill my way because folks feel I’m fat shaming him. Nope, I’m not in the least. I’m no skinny minny myself. Big is beautiful. Chubby deserves an enthusiastic rubby. I’m merely pointing out the fact that Miles O’Brien - played by the ever talented Colm Meaney - doesn’t sport the typical Starfleet centric physique we’re mostly used to seeing portrayed on Star Trek.
Nothing wrong with that, of course, in fact it’s refreshing to see a brawny build on a Trek regular. However, it’s definitely curious when you consider the future timescape of his environment.
Chief O’Brien lives and works in a awesome wonderland of advanced medicine and technology. As a Starfleet officer, he has instant access to some of the very best in healthcare.
Why is he so darned chunky? And while we’re on the subject of miracle cures, why is Picard still bald?
Chunk, Hunk Or Folksy Funk?
Alrighty then, funky folks. Are we all paying close attention? So, O’Brien isn’t a Jim Kirk. He’s not a Will Riker. Though both of those guys definitely had their own battle with the encroaching bulge. With that beard, Riker would even be considered a brawny bear in romantic circles.
Then we have legendary J.T. Kirk. His weight went up and down faster than a Klingon Bat’leth. It rarely achieved stable orbit during the original series run. In fact, during his time playing Captain Kirk, series producers sent off memos about the girth expanding William Shatner, saying they didn’t want their TV Starship Enterprise to be commanded by Captain Fatty.
From author David Gerrold book, The World Of Star Trek
Whoa. Fat shaming in the 1960’s? It might not be seen as such back then, since the plump among us simply weren’t usually cast in lead roles. Chubby leads in TV shows wouldn’t be seen until sitcoms such as Roseanne with Roseanne Barr and John Goodman, and then later, Mike & Molly with Melissa McCarthy and Billy Gardell. We did see the extra large Skipper (Alan Hale Jr.) in Gilligan’s Island and Dan Blocker as Hoss in Bonanza, but these were more supporting co-stars, not true lead actors.
Now, here’s an important question for fans to ponder when they’re really bored to tears. Perhaps there’s merely another force at work here. An inside job even. Humor me even for a spell.
Is Keiko a chubby chaser? Does she enjoy marbled meat on her main man? Accordingly, maybe meals she cooks up for her zaftig hubby aren’t exactly low in calories. Or maybe O’Brien let his displeasure known when it came to Keiko’s grab bag cuisine.
Now O’Brien is a chunk, but perhaps the Trek merchandising arm seeks to morph him into a hunk. His action figure doesn’t exactly measure up to his much brawnier real life physique.
Submitted for your approval, the plastic proof. Playmates, who crafted the various Next Generation and Deep Space Nine figures, is clearly engaged in a chubby coverup.
We’ve come full circle, kiddies. What did we learn in our pudgy pursuit of extra poundage on the miracle worker DS9 Chief? Why is O’Brien chubby?
Why? Because he CAN BE and most people pretty much like him that way. Enjoy a 2nd or 3rd helping, chunky Miles O’Brien, on all us fans of your beefy build. Chubby really is as chubby does, and with your skills and accomplishments, that’s obviously saying a whole lot.
That toy looks NOTHING like O’Brien! And you can’t spell CHUNKY without HUNKY!!!