The Star Wars Holiday Special Is Even Worse Than You Remember
Wookiees and Bea Arthur? Use The Force Forcefully and Partake If You Dare....
Use the Force, Luke! Destroy every known copy of that wretched special!
Either you’ve heard about how beyond bad it is for many a season, but never had the courage to actually watch it, or your nightmares are regularly haunted by its darkside durability invading your thoughts. After all, you can’t ever unsee something so tragically ill conceived.
No, surprisingly, I’m not referring to Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
The Star Wars Holiday Special. We know big daddy Jedi creator George Lucas is the brains behind this bizarre bowel movement, though now he’s denying he and his people really had much to do with its final incarnation. OK. Guess we’ll give you a pass on this one, George.
But what of those in front of the camera? Who can we pin blame on for hurting our eyes, ears and sensibilities?
Stars of The Not So Special Star Wars Holiday Special
Bea Arthur remained a fantastic, multi-faceted performer right up until her golden years. At home on the theatrical stage, silver screen or TV, audiences came to know her best as Archie Bunker’s laboriously liberal relative Maude (Maude) then as the outspoken Dorothy (Golden Girls) on two must see television sitcoms. Arthur was a true comedy trailblazer. Her impressive filmography would make any actress envious.
Harvey Korman tickled our collective funny bone for years. Part of the legendary Carol Burnett Show of stock players, Korman played every kind of comic role imaginable on the long running TV show, then appearing in Mel Brooks’ laughfest movies Blazing Saddles and High Anxiety, Korman proved he could do it just as wonderfully on the big screen as well.
They were two of the most brilliant and beloved comedians. And, yet, somehow, someway, in some galaxy, far far away, these two revered comic jewels starred in The Star Wars Holiday Special.
Don’t believe me? Then, I offer up proof.
Yep, that’s them alright.
Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford also appear in the outlandishly awful telefilm, but it was their budding universe after all. I’m sure the salary was decidedly stellar. Also, since Star Wars was still brand new back then, the urge to bring even more attention to it and help boost merchandising sales were also no doubt contributing factors.
Star Wars Holiday Special: The Warning
People can warn you about something so bad that it lives - or dies - in your heart thereafter for years. They can practically beg you not to indulge for fear of health risks and other dangerous complications. In this case, all of the worry and risk taking applies to the nth degree.
Watching this may forever alter your perception of Star Wars (or even all of reality), even those who were brave enough to sit through even one showing of The Last Jedi.
Thankfully, you don’t have to pay to watch it now either. You can hop on YouTube and assault your delicate senses with this absolute Star Destroyer wreck of a movie. Trust me, there’s nothing at all special about it. It’s completely unspecial and unthinkable in its insanely unfunny execution.
But wait… Am I being too harsh on this odd relic of the 1970’s? Have literally all who’ve seen it been way too critical of The Star Wars Holiday Special? Is it a pile on vendetta to destroy a memory of something, that while not high quality, is perhaps simply OK?
Nope, not even nostalgia excuses can save this fried turkey.
Sometimes fans forget the sci-fi universe we dearly love is basically geared to kids, to the little folk. No, I don’t mean Ewoks. Or at least it’s aimed at the kid in all of us. Honestly, though, if the kid inside of me likes this mind blowing fail, that internal child of mine must be a wholly fractured and damaged little soul.
It’s said: There’s only one way to experience and to rightly know the taste of tea. In this instance, you must gear yourself up to be wailing witness to a debacle of spirit scorching proportions. According to Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) himself, George Lucas absolutely loathes the special. 'If I could find every copy of that holiday special, I'd smash them with a hammer,'" Hamill said of Lucas’ extreme fury.
Still curious? Can’t resist an urge to be shocked and disgusted? Go ahead. Get it over with, my friendly friend. Be my giddy guest. Feast your innocent eyes upon The Star Wars Holiday Special. Knock yourself out, baby. Remember, you’ve been warned!
Me again. Maude was Edith’s cousin, not Archie’s obscure relative. LOL!