The Sexiest Beastial Behemoths In Sci-Fi & Comics
They're Big, Bad, Beastial And All Around Oddly Sexy
Big, bad and beastial means different things when it comes to sci-fi and comic book characters. The simple fact remains; the bigger you are, the more you tend to intimidate those around you. But size isn’t everything when it comes to making a really big impression. Putting fear into folk is one thing, but these big, fat, tall and beefy drinks can also impress us as incredibly sexy.
Did you just shout out, WTF? Huh?! Deep, calming relaxing breaths… Center and focus your chi. All good? Hear me out before you wig out.
I’m not talking getting busy, booty call at 1am, last call at the dive watering hole sexuality. Neither am I implying a night browsing Tinder, Bumble, Grindr or any other dating app will unearth such irresistible bulky hunkdom in similar super size form. Folk such as these are not easy to find. These big baddies communicate a kind of irresistible strength and penetrating charisma which many a GQ kind of hero could never hope to summon.
These big, boy bads have got it going on completely in every possible way.
Big Bads Are Big Rads
Fashion sense, or lack thereof, can make or break the best of us. Big Bads either make their own super cool costumes or shop in the Big N Tall Store for well dressed villainous powerbrokers. Fact is their look and wardrobe make them all the more desirable.
Being big and beastial means a lot to a lot of comic book villains. Being behemoth also means a lot to us. We could never imagine them nor want them anything other than the supersized behemoths we love them for being.
The Blob
He’s beyond big in every way and it sure works for him. Frank Dukes, a member of the Brotherhood Of Evil Mutants, calls Magneto leader and seeks to squash - literally - Professor X and his Uncanny X-Men.
This guy is definitely not a poster boy for Fat Acceptance - since he just runs around trying to crush all who get in his evil way by bashing them with his bloated belly. Still, as the most fleshy of all super villains in comic books, you have to give the big guy some credit. He’s simply not sitting on the sidelines or trying to shed his bulk at Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. Besides his huge, crushing bulk, he can direct a gravity field at will. When he securely roots himself to the ground, it’s said no power on Earth can move his bulk. Talk about securing your place in line at the checkout! Not only that, but his generous fat absorbs all energy and even bullets. Yeah, he’s well padded for any combat for sure.
Juggernaut
Cain Marko is Professor Xavier’s half brother. Superpowered by a mysterious gem known as the Gem of Cyttorak, this big baddie may be the most overall powerful on the list.
Juggernaut can literally not be stopped - by anything. He gains this extraordinary power through that nifty magical gem. A mystical force encases him so that he’s near invulnerable, doesn’t require the ingesting of food, water, nor does he require air to survive. Once he starts walking or running, nothing on Earth can stop his momentum. From their chaotic and strained childhood growing up together, Marko and Xavier constantly clash, and it’s only a matter of time before their ultimate confrontation causes shockwaves for the entire planet.
Sabretooth
He’s big, hairy and so unapologetically surly, he uses sandpaper for a napkin. His claws may not be as iconic or powerful as the retractable blades of Wolverine - his arch enemy - but his teeth more than make up for it.
To go up against Wolverine and not only live another day, but often win the insanely knockdown, dragout bouts, you know he’s one tough son of a bitch. Sabretooth enjoys a buffet of super powers, including enhanced strength, speed, sense of smell and a healing factor which is only rivaled by his bitter rival, Wolverine himself.
Fat Bastard
Get in my belly! Listen to the hungry war cry of this super obese Scotsman.
Austin Powers faces many baddies in his globe trotting adventures, but nobody comes close in size, heft or glorious girth than that globular guy, Fat Bastard. Weighing in at 1 metric tonne, he’s by far the fattest bastard of the bunch. When toy resellers started carrying his action figures, they’d call him Fat Man - to avoid any complaints from parents over such raw language. Other stores would carry the figure and refer to him as the Obese Illegitimate Child. Any name you seek to give to the immensely bloated super villain, the fact remains, he’s one of the most oddly sexy of the beefy bunch.
Lobo
Alien bikers from Mars anyone? This guy will organize a Sons Of Anarchy Intergalactic Festival and ain’t nobody gonna get out of that one alive.
Well, maybe Superman - at least he’d have more than a fighting chance than most.
Superman, as the last son of Krypton, has many a fearsome foe - but this guy has gotta be the most fun and even suave. He’s got everything going for him and more - much more if you count how often and how many kills he casually chalks up. Lobo’s a bounty hunter and a damn good one and he chases after his targets on his space capable motorbike - the Space Hog. His powers are multitude, including super strength - nearly on par with Superman - and super speed, being almost as fast as our favorite scarlet speedster, Flash.
Jabba The Hutt
The scum loving soul of organized space crime has been personified in one super duper XXXXL package. He’s the mammoth mobster star of Return Of The Jedi.
Of all the characters which George Lucas created for the Star Wars universe, Jabba is certainly the most tremendously obese and beastial. Jabba neatly defines absolute excess - as his eating, drinking and fleshly desires probably rival anyone else in the great Galactic Empire. When Jabba takes Princess Leia captive and dresses her in that leaves nothing to the imagination gold outfit, we know he’s more than smitten with her. Unfortunately for the big wily worm, Leia can’t feel as lovestruck and not only won’t return his affection, but proves his downfall in the end.
The Pakleds
They look for things. Things to make them go. And go they do, all over the galaxy getting lots of help and borrowing things from others - voluntarily or not.
Appearing in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, Samaritan Snare, these guys fooled Captain Picard’s Enterprise, and took Chief Engineer Geordi for a bumpy ride and a half. Pakleds appear simple minded, even slow or mentally challenged, however, they mask a sophistication which their devious deception keeps under wraps - until it’s way too late. It may be a stretch to highlight their raw sexuality, but many of us enjoy being fooled before it’s too late, especially when it comes to our rocky romantic relationships.