ST: Voyager - I Dare You To Sleep With A Flotter Doll
Flotter T. Water Will Haunt Your Nightmares Forever And For All Time
Let’s put our bedtime cards on the night table for all of us to deal with or even gently mock. Remember, it’s a safe place, you’re among friends. Are you afraid of the dark? Maybe a nightlight doesn’t cut it and never will. Do you still sleep with the lights on? It’s OK, my timid little fella. I’ll engage my Betazoid empathy mode. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, really, and certainly you aren’t the only one to be guilty of such psychologically interesting behavior.
Revelations are healthy and we all need something to get us by - even if that includes the freakish Flotter.
Therapy couch anyone? What did the great Dr. Sigmund Freud have to say about nightmares? “… nightmares are dreams with a sexual content whose libido is transformed into anxiety”
Shit, does this mean freaky Flotter may be some kind of erotic fetish? Sort of like a butt ugly Horga'hn found on the pleasure planet of Risa? Oh, God, no…..
The healing balm of sleep has got to creep into our nightly lives, and no matter what gets us through the night, there should be no shame attached. Still, I ask: Despite how scared you were or how much you feel like you are about to shit your pajama pants, would you ever trust a good night’s sleep by cuddling up to a Flotter doll?
Not exactly sure what I’m talking about? Have I flipped my Trek trash talking communicator lid? No worries, mate. Here’s what I speak of - another photograph of this insanely constructed monstrosity to creepily cradle you in a cloak of phantasmagoria torture.
And in case you need another chilling example of just how much this insanely disturbing thing is, see below.
Keep those potent meds handy, and if you don’t take them now, trust me, after viewing this pic, you just may be getting a script for some heavy ones real soon.
If your memory fails as to what episode this little demonic doll hails from, no worries, I’ll refresh your recollection, however, you’ll probably hate me for doing so. The episode is Once Upon A Time, and here’s the Memory Alpha summary:
Neelix tries to take care of young Naomi Wildman whose mother was aboard the Delta Flyer when it crashed into a planet during an ion storm.
We all know the Neelix Star Trek: Voyager episodes never really set the world on fire, except this one probably qualifies as a five alarm disaster. To calm the frightened child, the crew replicate this nightmarish creation which makes Chucky look like a cuddly buddy. Hidey-ho, ha-ha-ha!”
Hell, it’s not contest. Gimme that ginger headed psycho any day to sleep next to rather than this loony blue meanie.
Of all the cosmic craziness attached to Flotter, this absolute shocking fact happened in real life. Someone actually purchased the prop doll - for a shitload of dough. From Memory Alpha:
Naomi's Flotter T. Water doll (Lot #298) was sold for US$1,560 at the 40 Years of Star Trek: The Collection auction, after being estimated to fetch only 100 - 150 dollars. Additionally, the costume worn by Langham as Flotter was auctioned off in the It's A Wrap! sale and auction. [2]
Mull that gem over for a few momentous moments. Someone, somewhere, somehow is probably sleeping with Flotter. Maybe every night. Yeah. And you thought you had problems?
LMAO