Replicator Potluck Gruel - What Are Starship Crew's Really Eating?
If You Think About It For Too Long, It Gets Pretty Nauseating
Computer, lobster thermidor, caviar and a lemon meringue jelly tart to finish up sweetly.
Starfleet crew members, what’s been cooking on your daily menu? Do you REALLY know what you’re eating when you fire up the starship or stabase replicator?
Remember, replicators aren’t Rachel Raye or Martha Stewart endorsed air fryers, slow cookers or digitally controlled quantum crock pots. You won’t be partaking in food au natural. This ain’t fresh. This isn’t even frozen. Talk about potluck dinners.
We’re told replicator technology enables the many united worlds of the Federation to feed everyone efficiently. We’re also told the replicator can create virtually any dish in the galaxy. Klingon Gagh? Vulcan Plomeek Soup? No problem. Savory Sushi? Powerful Pierogi? We got ya covered, Starfleet professional.
Distant Origins
But what exactly are these delish delicacies made from? Where does the replicator obtain the raw materials - the raw, base ingredients - to instantly whip up a brilliant sparkle of these edible goodies?
Today, we do possess replicator like tech after a limited fashion. 3D printers are becoming more capable and they can produce or transform our food ala a Starship’s replication system. Of course, it all comes back to what raw elements we start with and load up our particular production device. If you put something foul in a blender or food processor, the end result isn’t going to be so tasty or healthy.
So, what’s the official word on how Starfleet replicators work in the far flung future?
A replicator or molecular synthesizer is a device that uses matter-energy conversion technology similar to a transporter to produce almost anything from a ship's replicator reserves.
Almost anything…. Hmmmmm, that’s some heady, even cosmic stuff.
Though it’s not altogether clear, that matter-energy conversion is taking existing matter - Lord knows what exactly - and mixing it up in a starship’s supercomputer coded algorithm to produce your greasy, grilled cheeseburgers, fries and shake. The same tech magical principle allows famed teetotaler, Captain Picard, to order up his, ‘Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.’
We all love choosing over those lofty leftovers in our fridge - right? Well, I guess it all depends on what exactly the leftover is and how long it’s been left over. But just think about it: Replicators seem to deal in large part with leftovers. At least nothing leads us to believe the raw, replicator elements are anything close to fresh food. And again, leftovers from what exactly? Talk about mystery meat.
So, in the end, does it really matter what exactly is used as the raw materials for food prep in Captain Kirk (William Shatner) and Jean-Luc Picard’s time? Perhaps it doesn’t, but next time you watch a Star Trek episode or movie and a replicator moment shows up, think a few moments about what’s really swimming around in that deceptive dish or bewildering beverage.
Poo. Replicators recycle poo into food. You’re welcome.