Picard Says, 'Why Does My Earl Grey Tea Taste Like Shit?
Are Enterprise Replicators On The Fritz Again? Is Chief Engineer Geordi Laforge Goofing Off In The Holodeck?
COMPUTER, TRANSPORT THIS CRAP TEA OFF MY DAMN BRIDGE!
Energize! Whoosh! And away goes the offensive beverage in a magical sparkle shower…. And so, Picard makes it so. Whoa.
How can Picard’s loyal bridge crew reconcile their Captain’s replicator serving him up purely craptacular Earl Grey tea? Do they want Locutus to return to lay down some bad Borg bullshit on their incompetent asses?
Our noble Captain Jean-Luc Picard dearly loves his tea, doesn’t he? A few of us could claim he’s a unrepentant tea junkie. A few more might even say he can’t fulfill his massively important Starfleet exploratory duties without his daily caffeinated routine.
Draw that line here! This far, no further - without my tea infusion!
It’s a simple human equation. We all have a favorite daily beverage. Maybe you’re someone who needs a cup of java in the early morning to get your warp core fired up. Perhaps you’re a devoted drinker of moo juice. For you, a cow is basically a living Starbucks.
For me it’s all about the tea. Although I look forward to using a magical box like the replicator, the basic fact is that if it’s pre-progammed to give us tea, or coffee, or soda, it’s a good bet if and when it’s on the fritz, that drink is gonna taste awful.
In the end, I’ll skip such tech - at least for my morning beverage brew. The act of my tea prep may take up some of my time, but I’ll always know when I take a sip it’s going to taste like a cup of tea - not some merry matrix of massaged molecules courtesy of a digital barista.