A Next Generation Thanksgiving: Star Trek: TNG Characters Who Are Most Thankful
Riker, Data, Troi, Geordi and O'Brien Thank The Cosmic Gods For So Much
Gobble, Gobble. Turkey Lurkey. Stuffing? Roasted potatoes? Yes! More please. This is the delicious day for thanks and bicarbonate of soda, Pepto Bismol and Tums. Sit back, relax and stuff yourself silly - then go and watch some Star Trek episodes featuring this happy go lucky bunch. They are the trekful n thankful ones to be sure. Bask in their gracious gratitude over pumpkin pie.
Creator Gene Roddenberry’s universe brims with characters who are more than thankful to be where they are at present, future or doing what they’re doing, however, none probably more so than the ones I’ve listed for you here. Remember: Summaries detailing their thanks aren’t the only reason they should be grateful, but it sure as hell is out there in front.
Data - The Randy Android
Here is an Android Man With a Plan. He’s forever thankful for being fully functional and programmed in multiple techniques. Every loyal Trekker knows what that means, but I’ll spell it out for you, thusly. Data enjoyed rollicking sex with one of the hottest, most attractive woman Star Trek’s ever gifted us with - Denise Crosby playing the wonderfully athletic, Tasha Yar.
How many of us can boast bountiful - man or woman or non-binary - that we experienced bedroom playtime with a partner who would easily make a sexiest alive list? Oh yes, my star spanning kiddies, Data thanks his father creator, the wild Doctor Soong, most abundantly.
Will Riker - The Forever First Officer
Door challenged Riker. Will the Thrill. Yeah, he’s forever in the legendary Captain Jean-Luc Picard’s shadow. Please don’t talk to me about the Titan and his future doings - yadda yadda. I’m talking about the perennial underachiever Mister Riker back in the day.
Riker just couldn’t take command of anything other than being a First Officer under the great man who is Picard. Oh sure, tell me that Starfleet’s flagship is so prestigious that being a janitor on it is better than being Captain. Gotcha.
Anywho, why is Riker so exceedingly thankful? He should be incredibly grateful that Picard doesn’t go to Starfleet and say, “Look, this guy is killing me. He’s deadweight. He doesn’t have the Captain’s instinct. Or, more troubling, he’s waiting for me to kick the bucket - Locutus anyone? - and take MY command. I want his sorry ass transferred - now!”
Deanna Troi - The Royal Minded Ship’s Counselor
Deanna Troi, acts as ever professional Betazoid, the mental minded ship’s Counselor. Let us line up to all tell you our dark, forbidden secrets and reveal now our brain’s delicate sounds of silence to your probing psychic senses.
In a pig’s eye! I’ll pass, thank you!
I wouldn’t share anything with her, even a bad cold - seriously. She loves throwing it back smack dab in a person’s face. Like the time, during a serious session with an Enterprise crewmember, Troi basically destroyed her. There was nothing left alive. It was if Troi disintegrated her with a full phaser blast. Below is the spine chilling exchange:
TROI: Well, maybe he's just tired of hearing you complain.
JANEWAY: Pardon me?
TROI: I know I'm certainly tired of it. How do you think it feels to sit and listen to someone whine about themselves all the time?
JANEWAY: I didn't realise I was
TROI: This isn't Starfleet Academy. You're not going to be coddled. If you can't take it here, then you might think about a transport ship. There's a lot less pressure there.
JANEWAY: But I love being on the Enterprise I don't want to be anywhere else.
TROI: If you aren't up to it then you don't deserve to be here. Isn't that right?
JANEWAY: I guess so.
TROI: So you'd better take a hold of yourself, or be prepared for a transfer.
JANEWAY: I will, Counsellor. Thank you.
TROI: Glad I could help.
Troi should be thankful - every day of her unsure, unsteady tenure on Picard’s lavishly designed Enterprise - that he doesn’t toss her butt onto a passing Ferengi or Pakled trading freighter for being such a snotty snob.
Geordi LaForge - The Hopeless Hologram Lover
Holo sex, anyone? Blow-up dolls are so 20th century. Yes, Geordi isn’t the ONLY Enterprise crewmember who enjoys a roll in the horny light brigade, we’re looking at YOU, Mister Barclay, but he’s probably the most dedicated holo-lover. Afterall, Barclay’s fantasies seem more plainly odd or even psychologically outlandish than good olde fashioned sexcapades.
Mister LaForge is a brilliant engineer, he’s saved the Enterprise more times than his holo-sex dolls can count on their torchy little digits. However, he needs to be thankful that none of his crewmates wander into his holodeck sex orgies while they were going on full blast. Wait a minute…. maybe… That actually could be quite the blast in more ways than one.
Miles O’Brien - The Fix-It Man Extraordinaire
He’s married to the lovely schoolteacher and botanist, Keiko. His daughter, Molly, is a bundle of unrestrained lovely joy. And yet, Mister O’Brien, Chief of Starfleet fix-it chiefs, seems more than a bit overburdened.
Is it Terok Nor? Aka Deep Space Nine, that sadly, broken down Cardassian relic which keeps him awake at night, not knowing if some power pylon or whatnot is going to go berserk, thereby causing a death dealing explosion of epic proportions? Well, sure… Maybe.
As a crossover character from Next Generation, O’Brien is introduced to us on Picard’s space faring Love Boat, then becomes an indispensable maintenance man to Captain Sisko on the delightful darkness of DS9. Why should this buddy of Doc Bashir’s, this earthy Irishman, this moody marksman of the pub darts be thankful? I’d say it’s really quiet simple: He escaped the rank insanity of the Enterprise D. Cleaning up after Geordi’s love parties alone must have been sheer hell - and though he’s got his chubby hands full to bursting on Deep Space Nine, his gratitude must be ever boundless.